When Is Enough Enough? Update

It's been a long time since I posted, I have been on a hiatus from blogging here on Trin Cafe.
The Summer break has given me a lot of time for some humble self-reflection on the past 18 months as a "full-time trader". I won't bore you with the details, I will just say that you will learn a lot about yourself after losing the cost of a small house in less than 2 years in this opportunity I have called trading for a living. When years of preparing and saving for the trading account does not pan out as once hoped, what is a trader to do?

Option A: Call it quits.

Option B: Seek small wins and smaller losses.

Option C: I am still searching for an option "C", I am not sure there are any other options. For now, I am sticking with option B.

I am blessed to have a passive income that allows me to sit on my hands and ass long enough to risk it in these financial markets. For better or worse, the Pandora's box has been opened, the genie is out of the bottle, the toothpaste is out of the tube... I am a trader... FYI, (I hate the casino).
I began trading in 2002, I have traded through the "great recession", I was trading real money in a live account during the flash crash of 2010 and I am still here (dumb ass) maybe?

I am definitely foolish enough to think that I may get it right someday just long enough to where I can manage a decent size account again. Is that someday coming in 2018?

Stay tuned!




POSITION

SPY SEP 283 PUT @ 4.17

RESULT

Closed @ 4.70 for $51 profit.



Comments

  1. On a daily and monthly chart, the market is bullish. I choose to stop beating my head against the brick wall. Took a small profit and have up the idea of today being financial dooms day (FOMO).

    I'll wait for another setup I feel confident about some time this week. Hope to string together some wins.

    ReplyDelete
  2. hey Trin,

    sorry I haven't gotten to commenting. this post really hit hard for me and I wanted to leave a worthwhile set of thoughts:

    it's good that through your self-reflection, you can still be ok with yourself. I have found that in this stupid business, being able to be kind to yourself and forgiving to yourself is essential. it gives you the emotional space to operate and the mental longevity to get to the "promised land" so to speak.

    since you and I have been trading for roughly the same amount of time, i'm sure we have parallel lessons that point to the same general direction. for me, trading - as you know - is a shitty business. but money is a shitty necessity in this world. my take is that you have this life to try and make as much of it as you possibly can for when you're in a spot where your body can't exert the amount of influence it used to. we're all getting old and the only thing that can counter that gradual move to chaos is if we have a force to incentivize other people around us to not be dicks.

    money, is the root of all incentives; with it you get material possessions, love/sex, insulation, etc.

    it's no surprise that people go to whatever lengths they can to secure it. but as I am on the tail end of my career and will probably retire from this business in less than a decade, I see it for what it is: trading is gambling. it took me so long to mentally accept that and when I did, there was the load of rationality lifted off my shoulders. trading is a business in where you can be the best person you can be, practice the best practices and even work tirelessly - but it does not guarantee any type of liveable results. there are many people that deserve my spot, but because fortune chose me, I am where I am. Fortune has to choose someone, or else trading would not have the allure that it does. But it doesn't mean I'm rich. I'm comfortable but I have not achieved the dreams that got me into this dumb career in the first place.

    For the kind of risks I take, I feel like my salary is half or even 3/4 less of what it really is when you factor in the mental costs of getting it. The only thing that reminds me that my "number" is real is the fact that I've got a roof over my head and two vehicles and a wife. Can I go to Santorini on a luxurious vacation? No. Can I stay at The Palace in New York City for more than a week on a whim? No. I can enjoy relative luxuries, not the ones that I wanted to get when I was young and signed up for this job; a yacht, a penthouse in LA, Lambos & Ferraris, dating Playboy girls. That unicorn fantasy ship has long since sailed and my main concern outside of budgeting money is my wife's happiness and to make sure I remember to take the trash bin out to the driveway every Wednesday morning so the garbage truck can pick it up.

    I wanted a much different life. I think we all do - why do we look for ways to have money?

    The point of this comment is not to bash my life. I am grateful for it, actually. The point is to bash trading for the expectation versus the reality. This business is just a step above running small cocaine packets in Baltimore for meager pay. In fact, at least those guys actually "do stuff" instead of sit around looking at charts up the butt. If I could go back in time and pick a different career, I would do it in a heartbeat. I regret very few things in life, but this career choice - I really regret it. Trading has been a great eye opener for me, but the fruit of its knowledge is one of the most bitter that you'll ever taste.

    Kudos to you that you keep going. If this is the life we are given, the best thing to do is make the best out of it and regardless of whether you succeed or not, try to be a good and respectable person. That's how to unlock the real riches of life. Not this f*cking crap.

    That being said, I still hope you get to that promised land. Enjoy the rest of the summer, buddy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rheise,

      thanks for the awesome comment. I tried replying back from my phone, spent 10 minuets composing a well thought out response and was ready to hit publish... apparently I got distracted and never sent my reply your way.

      Second try.

      I have been at this trading game for over a decade now, I could have bought a house with the amount of money I put into these markets we call opportunity. I could have bought a cash cow website selling trinkets rather than trading away capital. I could go on and on about what I could have done.

      My resolve has been tested, but then I remind myself I am dealing with 1st world problems. I am blessed to have a retirement check that comes every month, a great rental property, and I live in a very comfortable home. I’m not earning 10k a month as I had hoped, but I can continue to live comfortably without worry of having to live check to check. The traders who have to eat what they kill is a level of stress I could not imagine.

      My goals of long term trading success have not changed, I am having to achieve it on a much longer timeframe than expected. As you probably know by now, I have been bearish for the past 1 year, 215 days, 11 hours, 57 minutes and counting…
      I will ride the recession down and will build my account slowly over the next decade.

      Thanks again for sharing Rhiese!

      Delete
  3. Good post Trin & comment by Rhiese! I agree with ya'll! Option B is me too Trin. Keep on keepin' on!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the comment MBA, you are the original blogging trader who has stuck with it.

      Delete

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